U

U is for update. And by that I mean that a novel update. Lately I have been working a lot on my novel, and here is a little piece of it. If you have any suggestions, feedback or ideas please just put it in a comment. I hope you enjoy!!!

I can’t believe it. The guidance councillor has signed me up for group. GROUP! Everyone knows that only the really messed up people are signed up for group. She says that it will help me because I can “connect” with other people who have some troublesome things going on in their life. Seriously, I can’t even walk around the halls without everyone going all quiet and whispering stuff like “That’s the girl who’s dad died! You know the one I was telling you about?” As if I didn’t have enough things that could ruin my reputation to worry about. Anyway the first session is tonight in room 347. I think about calling and asking my mom if I can stay, but than I realize that she doesn’t care. I could stay out all night and when I came in, she would look at me with those eyes. The eyes that never notice, but instead look right through me. I slowly walk back in the direction of class, but really just wandering aimlessly. Before I know it I am running. Running down the halls, my old gray sneakers squeaking on the sterol white ground. I pass so many plain blue lockers, they all blend together. I break through the first exit I see, a rusty metal door and run straight in to Derek Mallow.

****

Caption of the football team, President of student council, and about 58 girlfriends just this year, he’s that guy that has it all, and the teachers just love him. As I trip on his foot and go flying he catches me by my waist, with such strength it surprises me. He has bright sparkling blue eyes that make me want to stare at him forever. He gently lowers me down, and winks, saying something sweet but at the same time funny, but I’m not listening. All I can think is how he is touching me, his arms still around my waist with such ease. It’s to hot, and my face is flushing that embarrassing shade of deep red. He’s looking at me, waiting for my response, but I don’t even know what he said in the first place. I turn away from his gaze, and rip free, sprinting of around the corner, past a huge dumpster where there are three kids with bottles of beer in their hands, drunk. Suddenly, I think of my mother, and how she is probably drinking her problems away right now, not even considering what me and Lily are going through. Thinking of her, I run even faster, my arms pumping at my sides. I fly passed the baseball diamond, and onto a soccer field. In the very middle of it, I collapse, lying down on my back, staring up at the bright blue sky. The grass hasn’t been cut in a while, and is long and full of dandelions. Here, right here outside, with not one person in sight, I feel so connected. I’m not really sure what with, but I feel so clean, new, in touch with myself. I sit there for a long time, watching the clouds drift across the sky. As I think about it, it would be a pretty nice life up there in the sky, just floating around, not knowing where exactly you’re going, but knowing that in the end you will somehow get there. I think about my Dad, and what he would think of my mother right now, of all of us. I can almost picture what he would say right now. Getting over a painful experience is like crossing the monkey bars; you have to let go at some point in order to move on. I remember that he told me his mother always said that when Grandpa died. I wait there in happy thoughts and memories of my Dad until I’m pretty sure that it is the end of the day. I slowly sit up and stretch, watching people run out of school, and race of in cars. I wish that when school finished each day, I had somewhere to be, somewhere I was wanted, not like now, where everyone stares at me wherever I go. And home is definitely not an option. The only thing there is my mother with her Jack Daniels or Jim Beam in tow. I don’t want to see Lily, asking, “Where’s Mommy Sophie? Where is she???” I don’t want to see the bare walls where my father’s pictures should be.

****

Life Lesson: Take some time to yourself. Sure, Sophie’s case that means skipping school and lying in the middle of a soccer field, but it doesn’t need to be like that. You can simply go to a park, go for a walk, or just have some fun. Everyone needs some fresh air and fun every once and a while.

I commented on Rowena's post this week!